Are You Sitting in the Tension?

Christmas cheer. A cancer diagnosis.

The perfect gift wrapped in a bow. Debt piled up so high, “Let’s not let anyone know.”

Quality time with the ones you love dearly. Well, minus one, “Oh, she’s not coming this year.” Fresh heartbreak. Even more painful than the last.

Cards in the mail with smiling faces, XOXO. Leaving loneliness traveling through the bones.

A cozy sweater, turtleneck and all. Still masking the face, depression having its way.

A cup of cocoa, tastes sweeter than ever before. Mind wandering off to images of war.

Hymns of hope. Thoughts of dread.

Somewhere in between “I want to stay here forever” and “Is it done yet?”

For the one who sits in the tension, between utter joy and inescapable grief. I pray this season you may nestle down, finding a soft place to rest your head. A place where you can feel the peace. May you let yourself hold the extremes, yet feel every single thing in between.  May you call the hardships what they are — impossibly hard. Yet still allow yourself space to smile, laugh, and dream. To see the hope, even if you can only find it in the shimmering twinkle lights on the tree.

May you not write off this whole season. Stamping it with one extreme. But may you fully hold the tension, and learn to be okay with sitting in the in-between.